Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just had sex on a roof
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
