She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
