Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
