Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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