i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
