I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
