WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
