Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
