My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
