Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
