i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
