wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My pussy is not your playground.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize