i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize