Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
