4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize