I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm both gender and math confused
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
