it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Drunk is not a location!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
