my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
