when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
