we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
