one word: firstdatebathroomanal
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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