Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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