singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
