glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
barbara walters just said penis...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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