My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
