no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
