So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
