The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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