i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
