I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
