Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
