Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
