so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I would ride that face into the sunset
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
