Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Im part way to drunk.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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