She is in my trunk
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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