the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
