My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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