hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
