the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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