I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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