the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
