I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
