I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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