just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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