I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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