I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
