Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This toilet bowl is my home.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
