She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
