You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
