eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
