Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
