apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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