There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
