Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
