I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
