Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize