Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
