About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
