We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
