no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
