I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
