Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
