dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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