PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
