so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
