Small penises have feelings too.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
