no, he came in my armpit
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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