it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
