Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
