i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is Oprah even human
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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